The reason why I fall asleep too fast.

Dearest my bebey iL. I'm sorry for always leaving u alone at night. I couldn't bear to fall asleep if I'm tired or bored. There are many other reasons why I fall asleep too early but I just want to let u know that I never have the intention to leave u alone because I love u very much. I found this poem below from my email. I hope it's enough to express the way how I feel about you..                                            

 

                                      **If One Day..**

                                    If one day you feel like
                                    crying...

                                              Call me.
                                        I don't promise that
                                        I will make you laugh,
                                        But I can cry with you.

                                    If one day you want to run away-
                                      Don't be afraid to call me.
                                    I don't promise to ask you to
                                    stop...
                                        But I can run with you.

                                    If one day you don't want to
                                    listen
                                            to anyone...
                                              Call me.
                                    I promise to be there for you.
                                    And I promise to be very quiet.

                                        But if one day you call...
                                        And there is no answer...
                                        Come fast to see me.

                                        Maybe I need you.


                                      If I ever ignored you.

                                          I'm Sorry...

                           If I ever made you feel bad or put you
                                  down.

                                          I'm Sorry...


                              If I ever thought I was bigger or better
                                    than you.

                                          I Luv You...


                            Don't ever forget that! Through bad times
                                            and good,

                                    I'll always be here for you.


                                          I am Sorry...

                                  For everything wrong I've ever done.



                          I'm writing this because what if tomorrow
                                              never comes?


                          What if i never get to say good-bye or give a
                                                  u a BIG hug?



                            What if i never get to say I'm sorry or I
                                              love you?


                                Because what if tomorrow never comes?



                                          I LOVE YOU!

(hD luvs iL ~ 3.45 a.m)

 

For my dearie sweetheart , my bestfriend, my bebey iL~ ILYSM

How did we meet with each other?

Buku I

Bermula dgn blog aku dgn dia boleh kenal.Benda ni mmg tak masuk akal gak bila piker kekadang,tpi tu la kenyataan sebenarnya.. Nak jadik kan cerita,adalah satu malam nie kebosanan aku memang tahap dewa la..smpai kan aku tak tahu nk buat apa dh,nak main game aku rasa dh semua game aku main..nak dgr lagu pulak asyik lagu sama je..nak tengok tv pulak channel kat tv tu bukan best sgt pon masa tue,plus remote tv tu mak aku yg control so kiteorg adik bradik mmg tak boleh nk wtpe dh la kan(melainkan akak aku je la,dia mmmg selamber derk je berebut,bergaduh ngn mak aku tu pasal nk tengok cerita lain )..Aku pulak ni jenis yang malas nk bergaduh ngn mak aku,so aku tengok je la cerita yang dorg pasang..

Then,ada la aku pegi kat blog one of my friends ni..Dia bru je update blog dia so aku pon saje saje la nk tengok tengok kan apa yang dia update tu.After dh perabih  usha blog dia tu aku pon saje la try nk click “ next blog “ kat atas blog tu ( selama ni tak penah pon buat,entah mcm mana ttbe pulak malam tu tangan aku ni rajin bebenor nk mengeclick mende alah tu)..Then ada la a few blog yang aku usha jap,baca2 gak la apa yang dorg tulis ( kebiasaannya blogger nie dorg story pasal kesah dorg,ada yang berpolitik..tp yg mcm tu mmg aku tak lyn sgt pon).. Sampai la ada satu blog ni…

Blog ni dh berhabuk siket la aku tengok,mcm dah lama org tak update(sebab aku tgk last dia update  tahun 2009)..Bapak lama org tu tak update dia punya blog,entah2 dia dh lupa kot dia ada blog or paling tak pon dia lupa password dia.. Aku pon usha la jap blog dia, dlm hati aku..“ Mende pe laa dia ni tulis.. “  (Aku just usha gtu2 je la blog dia)..Then kat blog tu ada la dia gtau a few  information pasal dia..  Tau gak la siket2 pasal dia,then aku trnmpk gmba dia kt blog tu.. “ emm,boleh tahan gak minah ni..”  (saje nakal2 hehe) Dia ada publish email dia kt blog ,kebetulan time tu aku memang tengah on ym..saje la cuba nseb mana tahu email tu dia still guna lagi ke kan…aku pon add la dia kt ym..

Then,tak sampai  a few minutes dia approved!

To be continued...

(Lagenda Budak Bmi) 

 

Especially for my dearie sweetheart iL

How did we meet with each other? Part II

Part II (cont..)

There were many questions popped up into my mind at that particular moment about that particular guy who had just added me through y!m that day. I looked at his profile picture, observing it slowly try to recall who was he but absollutely failed as I believed he was not someone familiar that I knew.However, I was just entertaining myself by replying his Y!M as I had nothing to do at that particular moment. After several questions asked to him, I started to make wild assumptions about him which were:

1) He might be someone who knew me during my Degree as he found my blog (The blog was created for one of the assessments for the subject that I needed to learn before).
2) Is he one of my batchmates? or maybe is he my junior because he found the link.
3) Is he my ex-boyfriend? emphh maybe not..but maybe my ex asked him to test me.

What made I had given the above assumptions was because of that guy's way in answering my questions. Everything seemed to be undercover for me as he seemed to reserve everything that I asked him like trying to hide something from me. Actually he had made me thinking that "something fishy is going on" at that particular moment and I started to assume that this guy was really dangerous and I needed to ignore him.

However, he made the quick move. After I told him that I was not going to entertain him anymore if he didn't tell me the truth, he started to answer every single question that I shooted. Even though the feeling of doubtful about him was higher than the feeling of trusting, I started to slow down a little bit when he told me, he knew nothing about me and just found my blog while browsing through other blogs. By looking back at his profile picture, he didnt seem like a bad guy. Therefore I decided to stay and kept on chatting with him as who knew I could make a new friend ;)


_The End_ Will be continued with the future chapter  ;)
(hD luvs iL so much ~ 8.08a.m)

NotaCinta.

- 22July2011 -

Di setiap nafasku...

Current mood : thankful

This is for you. It has been a while now. I hope you've never doubted my love for you. Then, now and forever.

Di setiap nafasku

Yang ada hanya kamu

Dan di tiap penjuru

Di situlah wajahmu

Jadi penyeri kalbu

Penyembuh lukaku dulu

Aku rindu kepadamu

Bukan hanya ungkapan

Atau madah hiasan

Kuserah keikhlasan kejujuran

Sudilah kauterima diriku seadanya

Moga kitakan bahagia

Segunung emas dan permata

Pasti tiada berharga

Andai kita tidak bersama

Meski sedetik bersamamu

Ternyata berharganya bagiku

Jadi kenangan seumur hidupku

Pasti kugenggam erat

Dengan seluruh kudrat

Cintamukan terpahat

Kujadikan azimat

Takkan kulepas lagi

Cintamu nyata suci

Moga ia abadi

Dibawa ke sana nanti

Pasti kugenggam erat

Dengan seluruh kudrat

Cintamukan terpahat

Kujadikan azimat

Takkan kulepaskan lagi

Cintamu yang nyata suci

Moga iakan abadi

Dibawa ke sana nanti-

Disetiap helaan nafas yang kuhembuskan

Kuserah keikhlasan ketulusan

Sudilah kauterima diriku seadanya

Moga kitakan bahagia

- by iL -
 
The End...  

How did we meet with each other?

1st Story

To recall back the memory, it was not the memory that I expected before: never imagined, never dreamt yet never believed that there would be someone who would find my first blog which I haven't updated for ages. My condition at that particular moment was totally disaster. My heart was just broken into pieces by a useless maniac guy who I liked very much. It was 3months passed, the tears were no longer there but frankly speaking the memory between him n me was hard to be forgotten and it had suffered me with misery. Luckily I have few important people who I considered as a place for me to share everything especially when it deals with emotion. They had taught me to be strong. To be sincere, I was emotionless before doing nothing important, surfing the Internet, checking my FB account and letting the Y!M on without borthering it. 

I  had bundle of things to be done: assignments and searching for work materials yet none of them interests me the most to do it. I just busy entertaining my sorrow by watching Mat Lutfi's videos. I claimed Mat Lutfi as someone who had successfully made me laugh and erased my misery for a while. I forgot what a boring life could be. That's why I kept on watching his videos from youtube. Suddenly, I saw a pop-up msg from Y!M. Somebody wanted to add me. In my mind : "sape plak ni". Looking at the name, his first name sounds like my old buddy's name while his second name sound like the funniest person who I described above ;p..

Without hesitation, I just approved him. My guess was totally wrong as he claimed that he was not my friend. When I asked him, where did he get my Id, he just explained that he got it from my blog. I was starting to calculate every detail that he explained as everything seemed to be suspicious. I started to make wild assumpation to him that he might be somebody that knew me as no one has never claimed that they got my Y!M id through my blog which I haven't updated for ages. My deep curiosity had encouraged me to question him more and there were a lot of possibilities that I myself started to feel doubt about him which I decided to ignore him from Y!M list..

To be continued... 

(hD luvs iL ~8.09 pm)