Bukan mudah..

To my lovely hD..

Bukan mudah utk I buat semua tu dlm masa skg.
I msih tak bersdia lagiks..
Mcm I pernah ckp sblum ni, khidupan I bukan mcm khidpan iL yang dlu.
Khidupan I dh lain hD.. Lain sgt..
Maybe u boleh trima dgn apa yg I pernah buat kat u dlu.
Tp u kena ingat hD, I ada sjarah I sndri..
I tau u takkan dpt trima dgn cara hidup I yg mcm ni..
I mnta maaf sgt..
I syg kat you.
I rindu bb I yg manja ngn I dlu..
I rindu semua tu..

- Ai -
13sept2011,
1.42pm

The only thing that I ask you to do

I never blamed you for cheating me. Like u said everything happened for a reason. I could accept the fact already as I believe every human makes mistakes in life. Hence, I have given u the forgiveness yet still feel sad cause you don't want to grab the opportunity to clear up everything. I can accept the fact that iL doesn't exist anymore.  That's y I want to know the new AAF..That's y I need you to clarify everything. I hope with the clarification, I would be glad to accept the new you coz I'm like a cat..where there is a proverb like "curiosity can kill a cat". I feel like I won't be mad anymore, if u r able to tell me the reasons of all the things that happened before. I'm not going to judge or blame you, the only thing that I want is clarification about this matter coz I do love you, love u so much till I feel like someone is stabbing me with a sharp knive when I am no longer able to be like someone who you treated passionately before. I hope you understand me. The only thing that I ask you to do now is answering me without hesitation. That's all dear..

"It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget

someone". anonymous

Written by The one who couldn't bear to live without u- hD yang sedang berdukacita..

Maafkan..

hD..
Lately ni, I byk buat hal I sndri.
I bnyk busy kan diri dgn keja2 I..
I rasa cara tu je yg bole I lupa kan skjap ingatan I kat u.
Wlupn sbnrye I tak pernah lupa kan u..
hD..
I nak u tau yg i syg kan u..
sungguh,wlupn iL dh takde skg dlm life u tp perasaan iL ttp ada.
I tau u takkan percaya dgn apa yg I ckp ni,
I tak pernah bohong tentang perasaan I..
hD..
Kalau lah I dapat undur kan balik masa..
I nak sgt u jumpa dgn real person..bkn dgn iL..
Tp I tau perkara tu xkan brlaku sbb I dh buat ssuatu tindakan yg bodoh dlm hidup I..
I syg kan u hD..

Enough.

13sept2011,
11.40am

Mimpi

I mimpi u hD..
I tak tahu kenapa I perlu mimpi u..
I nak kita lupa kn hal yang pernah trjadi sblum ni.
Tp makin I nk lupa kan pkiran I mkin trganggu.
I tak tahu nk buat mcm mana lagiks.
Bila I bgun tido or trjga, I mesti akn tgk fon I.
Maybe perkara ni dh trbiasa I buat semnjak I knl u.
Dlu fon I sllu dgn I, tak kira la I pergi mana sekali pn.
Now, fon I dh boleh cmpak mcm tu jer..
*I love you,my dear..

- iL @ b -
13sept2O11,
5.45am

Luahan perasaan seorang yg dikecewakan

 I accidentally found this song where I haven't heard it b4 (yuckss tak sedap pon sbnarnya patotlah aku tak pernah dgr ;p) but somehow the lyrics do relate with my current state:

Saat kau pergi
Berlinanglah air mataku
Betapa cinta ku rasakan
Kebahagiaan itu
Kini lenyaplah sudah

Tak pernah ku inginkan
Perpisahan ini terjadi
Ku hanya bisa merelakan
Jika memang kau pikir
Ini lah yang terbaik

reff:
Tak perlu kau beri alasan
Mengapa kau ingin pergi meninggalkan diriku
Karena ku yakin mungkin semuanya itu bisa
Membuatmu bahagia

Sepenuhnya ku menyadari
Bahwa cinta itu tak mesti harus memiliki
Namun ku akan terus selalu menyayangimu
Setulusnya hati

Tak pernah ku inginkan
Perpisahan ini terjadi
Betapa cinta ku rasakan
Kebahagiaan itu
Kini lenyaplah sudah

repeat reff

Saat kau pergi
Berlinanglah air mataku